Ask Beastly: A Straight Man Plans the Ultimate Orgy

One woman, six men, and no holding back.

Hi Beastly,

I wanted to write about a question, opinion, or feedback. Privately, if that's ok. Not urgent. I'm taking my time. I'm straight, but you mentioned receiving comments from straight men and women. I'll try to keep this under 300 words.

I was recently having an email discussion with an erotic events organizer in Europe. They've been doing events for 15 years. To keep it short, I asked if they are able to set up a hardcore gangbang. And yes they can. They know many very experienced amateurs. These are amateurs who really enjoy this stuff. Both men and women. It's on the pricier side, but they take care of everything. This would include anal, DP, and really hardcore fucking. I even asked in one of my last emails if they know any women that can do double anal. Yes, they do!!!

This would be done bareback. There is the option to go either way, but if I did this, I'd want the full experience. They do testing on everyone. We'd be going from hole to hole without pause. But there is a part of me that is hesitant.

But it would likely be 6 guys and 1 woman over a few hours. Nice venue with music and catering. A cloakroom for our belongings. I've been looking for appropriate music. Raunchy or XXX in nature.

I do have some reservations, which I guess is understandable. But this is the ultimate experience. They are very big about privacy and keeping everything anonymous. Going through a "consulting" company. But if I did this, I wouldn't want anyone to know I'm doing this. Traveling to Europe to gangbang a woman bareback.

And it is expensive. But, I honestly can't think of anything that would be more fun than this. Not even close. I guess getting my orgasm under control would be the other issue.

Thanks,

Doug

Hey Doug,

I take messages from everyone, including straight people. And even though my focus is on what the media world might call “men’s interests” or “men’s issues” (I am mostly writing for and about men, of all stripes and leanings), I have also answered questions here from women; I welcome and appreciate everyone who writes in.

Your message is more a well-deserved brag than a question—I am having to look for the issue. I understand your hesitancy. Excitement always holds a flicker of fear: fear of one's poor performance, fear of unmet expectations, fear of failure. All this is just you projecting yourself into the future. Stop that. You do not know how the night will go, even with all this planning. There might be hiccups—roll with them. That's sex.

Someone once told me that the combination of fear and surprise is what we call “awe.” I like to think we approach ultimate life experiences with awe. We kneel before them, sometimes literally on our knees.

Your hesitancy does not seem to be holding you back from going through with this plan, and that's good. Do it. See what happens. Push yourself. I hope the night is better than you imagine. You have invested time and money into it, so it would be a shame to back out now. A good rule with all sexual tourism: Plan a sexless, sober recovery day where you visit famous sights, tour cathedrals, eat at fancy restaurants, whatever—just no sex. Take one day to be in this new place without any sexual aspirations or energy; I promise you’ll look back on the trip more fondly if you do.

Orgasm control is tricky. There is no quick fix to what some medical professionals call “premature ejaculation,” a phrase I find a little problematic as it suggests there is an ideal time to cum. (Premature by whose standard?) While this is something you can discuss with a urologist, and probably should (I am not a doctor), two methods I am familiar with and have used involve mental training and numbing lubricant. 

Numbing lube creates slightly less stimulation for your dick, which seems to help some penis-bearers fuck longer and harder. It does not remove the pleasurable sensation entirely, of course—then it would not be very good. It just numbs it, so your parts are not overstimulated. Many receptive sex partners use numbing lube to go longer and harder too, particularly in hours-long, marathon fuck fests. 

Honestly, I do not recommend numbing lube here. In the end, it might not fully keep you from cumming too soon, and not everyone present may want to use it. I recommend mental training. Try just not cumming—not jacking off—for a few days. Then, reward yourself, watch porn, and have a fantastic, intentional, drawn-out jackoff fest, not just a quickie over the toilet. Then try to go another few days without. Test yourself. See how long you can go. 

Try edging, controlling your orgasm, drawing it out. I do this myself. At one point in the past, I was cumming too soon after I started masturbating, which resulted in cumming too quickly during sex. To work on that, I got into self-imposed chastity and denial—I started seeing how long I could go without cumming, how long I could tease myself before I had to blow. In the process, I learned that I do not need to cum that often. This helped me get into other forms of pleasure (anal, massage) and I started loving my butthole. Now, I can go a while between ejaculatory orgasms, and I often have sex without it entirely. When it happens, my ejaculatory orgasm is stronger and more intense than before. Mental training helped me shift the “focal point” of sex from orgasm to sex itself. It helped me like sex more. 

But hey, sometimes the feeling is so good that you cannot help yourself. You cum. That happens. So what? You are human, and on this night, you are a paying customer—the night is catered to you, not the other way around. If you do cum sooner than you like, take a breath, pop a boner pill, let the other guys play for a bit and enjoy the show, then, after a rest, hop back in. You’re always allowed to take a break.

If the night is great, hold on to its memory. Treasure it. And if it is not as great as you hope, try again. Plan another night. And another. Life is made on nights like these, and the fact that you have given yourself permission and put in so much work to make it happen puts you miles ahead of all the people who dream of this stuff but never do it. You don't need my help—you need my impressed face, I think. You have it.

Go forth, champion. 

Love, Beastly