Ask Beastly: What Are the Real STI Risks of Eating Ass?
It’s okay to be nervous—and okay to say no.
Hello hello!
My (trans, non-op) girlfriend has expressed some interest in being eaten out, and I very much want to eat her out, but I have had a lifelong debilitating phobia of vomit and things that can cause it (such as most pathogens communicable on the fecal-oral route). I know logically that people perform anilingus all the time without issue, but I think I need to hear directly from someone experienced with the practice what the realistic likelihood is of getting a vomit-inducing bugaboo instead of just immiserating myself by reading a list of all the things I could potentially get in the name of harm reduction. I'd use a dam, but I've tried once with another sexual partner and struggled too much to hold it in place due to a motor control disorder.
Thank you so much for all you do. I read through your whole archive and found some wisdom within that I'll carry with me always.
Ross
Hey Ross,
There is probably not much in the way of facts I can share that you have not read online. But for those who have not done a Google search on the health risks of licking butt, here they are.
Anilingus, also called rimming, involves oral stimulation of the anus and carries some health risks due to the potential for exposure to bacteria, viruses, and parasites that can be present in the anal area. These risks include:
1. Sexually Transmitted Infections (STIs):
• Human Papillomavirus (HPV): Can be transmitted through skin-to-skin contact and may cause genital warts or, in rare cases, anal cancer.
• Herpes Simplex Virus (HSV): Can cause oral or genital herpes.
• Gonorrhea and Chlamydia: These bacteria can infect the throat and rectum.
2. Hepatitis:
• Hepatitis A: Can be transmitted through fecal-oral contact and causes liver infection.
• Hepatitis B: Can be transmitted through blood and bodily fluids and also affects the liver.
3. Parasitic Infections:
• Giardiasis: Caused by the parasite Giardia lamblia, leading to gastrointestinal symptoms.
• Amebiasis: Caused by the parasite Entamoeba histolytica, leading to severe intestinal issues.
4. Bacterial Infections:
• Shigella: Can cause severe diarrhea and gastrointestinal distress.
• E. coli: Certain strains can cause foodborne illness symptoms.
• Salmonella: Can cause severe food poisoning symptoms.
5. Intestinal Worms: Exposure to worm eggs or larvae in the feces can lead to infections like pinworms or hookworms.
To minimize the risks associated with eating ass:
• Hygiene: Ensure that the anal area is thoroughly cleaned beforehand.
• Health Check-Ups: Regular STI screenings and maintaining overall sexual health.
• Vaccinations: Get vaccinated for Hepatitis A and B.
Yes, some of these things can make you throw up, depending on how delicate your tummy is, but most do not.
To me, the biggest risk in ass eating is getting a bug like Giardia, which is badly underdiagnosed and overlooked, as it is not considered a "standard" STI in most sexual health clinics and is therefore not commonly tested for (the test requires giving a stool sample). Giardia and E. Coli will upset your bowel movements and make you poop, not vomit. I have never heard of someone vomiting from an infection acquired from analingus, but countless friends have gone home from big gay sex events with gut parasites like the ones mentioned above and spent some weeks shitting.
You can do much to prevent those infections by practising good hygiene (cleaning up a bit beforehand) and not having sex with other people. If you’re worried about these things, that’s what you must do to avoid them.
Get tested together! Be each other’s support at the clinic! Regardless of whether you choose to eat her out or not, you should do this anyway as a courtesy to spare her and yourself an STI. All sexually active people should get thorough STI testing regularly. Period.
It is unrealistic to fear vomiting as a result of eating someone out. But fear does not obey logic. You have a phobia, and for some reason it's triggered by the idea of licking butt. Regardless of how realistic that image is, you will likely continue to fear it. You can read all the data and even consult with a doctor (and should) about the risks, and yet you may still fear it. That’s how fear works.
I can't tell if you are legitimately this afraid of getting sick from eating ass, or if you are simply not into the idea of eating ass, and this is your (slightly unconvincing) explanation for why. Yes, ass-eating carries some health risks, but so does every other kind of sex. There are almost no sexual activities that don't risk STI transmission. Every human body you get close to can make you sick. Many infections that aren’t transmitted sexually and are highly contagious, like stomach infections, are more likely to make you throw up than any STI will, yet I imagine you are not avoiding all human contact because of this.
I'll tell you now, babe, that it's okay to just not like the idea of rimming. Some people just don't like it. You might be one of those people. That's okay.
That means you probably won't be a good rimming top, even if you push your fears away long enough to try it. Good rimmers are not afraid. They dive. They go for it. Good rimmers know they might lick something nasty. I think they like it so much because it's so guttural and gross and taboo—to place the mouth, the thing that sustains us, that we kiss and eat and breathe with, on part of someone's body that our society attaches the most shame to: you have to think it’s hot or you shouldn’t do it.
If your girlfriend needs you to do this to stay with you, you might be out of luck. Find out if it’s a hard requirement. (To me, it would be an odd thing to have as a make-or-break requirement, but relationships have ended over stranger things.)
I chirp on about the struggles of monogamy. I don't mean to; non-monogamous relationships have their struggles and problems. No relationship style is without complications. But a lot of the issues people find in monogamous relationships are remedied in non-monogamy; this modern approach to dating was conceived to solve the problems like the one you will face if your girlfriend needs her ass licked.
If you were not her only sexual playmate, she could play with someone who wants to rim her, and everybody could get (and enjoy) what they want. She could keep doing the things with you that you both like, but enjoy rimming elsewhere. Easy! Yes, everyone would need to get tested often, communicate well, and tell everyone when an STI comes, but this is what all sexually active and responsible adults must do anyway.
If you're a good boyfriend in other ways, you can tell her frankly that you're just not into that. That's fine. You don't have to like everything she likes. I doubt she likes everything you like. And if you genuinely want to rim her and are just nervous about the potential for vomiting, there's nothing more I can say except that you probably will never get an infection from her butt that makes you throw up, so go for it.
Love, Beastly