Ask Beastly: I’m New to Nudes—Help!

With pro tips from Troy Daniels.

Help! How do I sext?? My husband and I have been together since before smartphones, and we missed out on sexting. I don't know how to be good at this. I don't know how to take good pictures of myself or my dick. I want to keep this going because we are both having a blast. This has made our sex life so much hotter. We are sexting like we are dating, and we are making plans to hook up on the weekend. We were sexting while we were eating Chipotle the other day. It was hot, sex the next night was so much better. Tips, tricks, anything.

Hey cutie,

This is the best message I’ve received in a while. I love that you’re sexting with your husband and want to get better at it. I wish I could consult the Official Guide to Making Sexy Nudes, but sadly, it does not exist. (I’d be reading it for myself, too—my selfie game is terrible.)

In my opinion, sexting is hot when it's bumbling and fearless—that mix of brave and dopey that is why we love himbos and frat guys who take dick pics in dirty mirrors, without tidying the bedroom behind them. That kind of messy, slutty X pic is one I love; that earnest, unserious way of making nudes is somehow hotter than anything too polished. Think: amateur porn versus studio. I want amateur, always.

But all this should be taken with a grain of salt: I am, by my admission, not the best at this. But I know someone who is. My friend Troy Daniels (pictured above)—content creator, video star, fellow tattoo enthusiast, former drag artist, auteur, stylist, muse—has pro selfie skills: I’ve never met someone so aware of their angles, so decisive about the look and the shot, as him. (Without revealing too much, I’ll just say he has worked on modelling competition shows, so he knows a thing or two about this.)

He can see proof of that on his Instagram, with links to his—ahem—other work at his link-in-bio. I sent him your message. Here is his reply:

Hey sexy sexter,

Treat sexting like an exercise in 'yes, and?' improvisation. You want to see me in my favorite jock? Yes. And I'm gonna make sure it's the one I've been wearing at the gym all week! Always provide something that the other party can build upon and make a comment about. The worst is a sexter who provides no meat in the conversation. 'How are you?' 'Good.' 'Where are you?' 'At home.' No one cares. 'I'm at home, horny and thinking about you, we fucked so good the other night, that I can't wait for tonight.' Ding ding ding. Now we're getting somewhere.

Next is how to lube up the conversation with some pics! Start by taking a million. Delete the ones you hate, and figure out what it is about the ones you like that makes them enticing. Try a bunch of different angles. I found that investing in a small tripod with a detachable shutter button (I'm not sure what this is in English) made taking a multitude and variety of pictures easier than using the timer and walking back and forth from the camera to where I wanted to take my picture. My favourite angle is putting the camera low to the ground, below crotch level, and angled up. Stand above it like standing above your prize. This gets the point across of what you're trying to sell.

Taking pictures could also be a fun activity to explore with your partner. Have them take sexy pics of you that you can send back to them later during a round of sexting, and vice versa. 'Remember how hard I was when you took this?' 'This is how you're gonna find me when you come home!' Like all new pastimes, there will probably be a learning curve to adapt to, but I imagine that with your partner along for the ride, it will make the experience even more enjoyable.

XOXO

TD

Troy is the best.

Love, Beastly