Ask Beastly: He’s Not Into My Thing for Thongs
What to do when your biggest fetish isn’t shared.
Hey there, I have learned so much from your blog! Thank you - Thank You! I will get right to the point, I am obsessed with Thongs. The skimpy underwear, the sexy strap, the wearing something so sexual under my clothes. Just writing this has me hard. I would rather see a man in a thong than naked. Sex in a thong is such a turn-on! My question is that my husband finds my obsession childish and unnecessary. When we have sex, he is quick to take my underwear off. The sex is good, but I need to be plowed while he pulls the thong strap to the side. And I want to eat his ass while he wears a thong, but he is just not into it. Any thoughts on how to get my man to embrace my fascination with thongs?
Babe,
Just as you are free to be into what you are into, so is he. You can’t “get” someone into anything, especially not something they’ve expressly said they’re not into. Which means he may not be a sex partner to use thongs with.
If he’s your only sex partner—if you are monogamous—then you’re out of luck. If that's the case, you can’t play with thongs. If you’re not monogamous, problem solved! Go play with someone who shares your thong fetish and leave the sex with your partner as it is (I assume you enjoy it since you keep doing it).
I’ve said this exact thing many times on this blog, but situations like this illustrate clearly the biggest problem with monogamy: it is unfair and unrealistic to expect your partner (or any one person) to complement your sexual tastes and desires in every way. No two people will ever be a perfect match, so there will always be compromises. As long as there are monogamous couples, there will always be someone out there who has to abandon a beloved fetish or major turn-on for their relationship.
And that’s sad. There are a lot of great fetishes out there, and we are given only short lives to explore them in. If you’re monogamous, don’t be. Find someone besides your husband to explore thongs and skimpy underwear with. Otherwise, throw away your thongs. He won’t use them, you can’t force him, and that’s that.
That would be an unfortunate trade-off. I love thongs. I love sex in thongs. I love getting railed in thongs. I love the thongs at Strapp Metal, a clothing brand run by my friends, porn stars Teddy Bryce and Johnny Walker. And my friend Alfons in Atlanta has a fetish and club wear brand that’s become quite a hit. His thongs are super hot (his Dolla Bill Thong, stretched around the immaculate body of Giacomo Recchia, is pictured above). It'd be a shame to give up thongs, but that's what monogamy forces people to do: abandon their kinks and twists to preserve harmony.
Fuck harmony. Love what you love.
Love, Beastly