10 Rimming Tips for Butt Freaks
Eat ass. Do crime. Vive la liberté.
My name is Alexander Cheves, but lovers call me Beastly. I write about sex for magazines.
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At some point in a gay man's life, he gets to feel a tongue in his hole. There are few better things. Having experienced many rimjobs (ass-eating, rimming, whatever you want to call it) — some that were okay, others mind-blowing — here are my tips on doing it well.
Some guys are naturally blessed with good rimming skills, but most of us must learn them. My first rimming experience came a few years ago in my first year of college. I was drunk, and so was he. We took a shower in my dorm late at night, and while we were rinsing I told him I wanted to eat his ass. I had never done it before. I knelt in the shower, put my face between his perfect ass cheeks, and carefully stuck out my tongue. “Not sure where it is,” I said. “Arch your back.”
He did, and I found it. My tongue was on his hole.
I slowly started to lick — and he started moaning. My horrified roommates were trying to sleep on the other side of the wall. An hour later, a friend pulled me aside in the laundry room and said, “You know why dog breath smells bad? Brush your teeth. Use mouthwash.”
With that intro (and that lesson) here are my tips for butt-lickers.
1. Whoever is getting rimmed needs to clean out. It's standard hygiene.
Douching is generally the best way to go, though many sexperts say this is not a healthy long-term practice, especially not if you douche often. That said, people all over the world douche before they play in the ass — for anal sex, rimming, and more — so that they feel more comfortable and don't make a mess. There are many ways to douche, and this post will not cover all of them (I will cover them in a later one). Some people use an ear syringe, others use a small store-bought enema, and others use douches designed for deeper cleans that can be purchased in sex shops. Every body is different and needs a different method, but regardless of what method you use, remember this: You do not need to clean very much or very deeply.
Since no tongue is very long, you don't have to overdo it. Just make sure you've released all the water from your butt. You don't want to relax or shift position and release douche water into his mouth. A good way to do this is to lay on your stomach or on your left side and breathe slowly while gently rubbing and massaging your belly and groin area. Eventually, any trapped water will come out.
2. When you're doing the rimming, vary it up.
Aggressive rimmers will go straight for the hole and just lick continuously in the same motion over and over, gradually pushing the tongue deeper and deeper in. This can feel good, but it gets dull after a while and can actually start to wear on the hole. Saliva dries out the skin, and the hole is the last place you want to dry out, especially if rimming is foreplay for anal sex.
Divide your tongue between his hole and the hypersensitive area directly around it. Make designs and patterns (stars, zigzags, spirals, concentric rings, horizontal licks, vertical licks, quick dots, long strokes, etc.) Tickle the hole with just the tip of your tongue, then thrust your tongue in as deep as it can go. Alternate between the wider, flat part of your tongue and the narrower, probing tip. Do quick, light licks between deep and long ones.
3. Bottoms: eat fiber. Doing so makes getting clean easier.
Fiber is necessary for healthy digestion, and having a good, clean ass is dependent on your digestive health. If you’re prone to stomach aches and loose, watery poop, you're going to have a hard time getting clean. Consuming daily fiber like Metamucil helps.
Fiber clumps your poop together, making your stools harder and firmer so that when you go to the bathroom, everything goes, and less is left in your rectum for you to clean out later.
4. It's not all about the tongue.
Don’t underestimate the effect of breath on skin. If you’ve ever spooned in bed, you know how someone’s breath can feel on the back of your neck. It can tickle or comfort, arouse or annoy, depending on your sensitivity. Breath is vital to a good rim job. Making a small “o” with your lips and blowing on an asshole (as you would a birthday candle) can make him moan. This is usually cooler breath. Alternately, as when you breathe on someone’s neck, an open-mouthed gush of warm breath will moisten the hole and add a tingling feeling of expectation – making him ready and excited for your tongue.
5. Know the rimming health risks.
If you are getting rimmed, you’re pretty safe. Sit back and enjoy. If you’re the ass eater, your risks are somewhat elevated for contracting gonorrhea, hepatitis A, harmful amoebas, genital warts, herpes, syphilis (if there’s an open sore), pink eye, and other infections. Even cleaned, douched asses can still transmit an STI. In most cases, you can't tell if someone has an STI by looking at their body, skin, or genital area. STI infection is not exclusive to rimming — all sex acts carry these same risks. A doctor might recommend dental dams for rimming, but I’ve never used one and have literally never spoken to a gay man who has, so I don't think it's realistic to suggest them. With a plastic barrier, what's the point of rimming? I don't rim to lick a strip of plastic. I rim to lick a butthole.
My advice: Know the risks. Get tested for all STIs frequently — for gay men, every three months, minimum.
6. Use teeth sparingly, or not at all.
Some really good rimmers know how to use teeth (hint: don’t suck in when your teeth are pressed against his hole, because it doesn't feel good). If he uses teeth and it feels good, consider this a pro move. I’ve had bad rim jobs where guys used teeth and it felt very unpleasant. Paired with the tongue, teeth can be a nice alternating feeling, a bit of hardness on a hyper-sensitive, soft, tender area. But by no means bite, nibble, suck, chew, or get aggressive with your teeth. Ever. The area you're playing with is very sensitive and has very delicate skin.
7. If you're scruffy, use it.
Some guys love the feeling of facial hair on their holes (I do). Then again, some don't. It really depends on personal preference. More than that, it really depends on the facial hair itself. Short, prickly stubble feels, well, prickly. That can still feel good, but don't be too aggressive with it, since, again, that anal skin is delicate and easily irritated. Soft, longer, fuller beards generally always feel great.
Best way to find out if he likes it? Try it and ask for feedback.
8. Don't be an endless rimmer.
The better you rim, the longer you can do it — but there is a limit. Some bottoms can get rimmed for a long time, but keep in mind that most of us enjoy it as a method of getting the asshole wet and hungry for something else. It feels amazing, but after a while, saliva will inevitably start drying things out and the rim job will stop feeling so great. Read his body language and learn when to cut yourself off.
9. Don't be a jerk if the butt is not 100% clean.
Make peace with this. It's impossible for butts to be completely clean. There will always be tiny particles of shit, so small you can't see them. But sometimes there's more than that, and you take this risk every time you eat ass.
It is, after all, a butt. You know what you're doing and where you are. Shit has passed along this luscious stretch of skin since day one. If someone is a little messy and you want them to wash out a bit, you're allowed to politely stop and say, "Hey, don't freak out, because I think you're very sexy, but you might need another go in the shower."
10. Get tested regularly for STIs.
For a sexually active gay man, the standard comprehensive testing panel includes testing for HIV, gonorrhea, chlamydia, syphilis, and Hepatitis C. If you do a lot of ass-eating, consider also get tested every year or so for gut bacteria like shigella and E. coli., which can be transmitted through fecal contact. These things tend to cause stomach pain and diarrhea, so you will probably know that you have something, and if you are not experiencing these things, you are likely fine. Talk to your doctor about your sex practices and be honest. Ask them for a more comprehensive picture of the risks, which are virtually the same for heterosexuals. Hey, straights love rimming too.
Love, Beastly